Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Unsolicited advice to the idiot teenagers in my 'hood.

GET OUT OF THE DAMN ROAD! I am so tired of these ferel children running around, laying in streets, cursing at us, throwing their cigarette butts all over the place in our neighborhood!

Next time you lay in the road in a group, at night, in the pitch dark I am NOT going to wait patiently while you slowly move one foot, stretch, move the other foot... roll your eyes... and eventually, like 4 minutes later get the FUCK out of the street. You are in the road. Next time I'm just going to drive. If you get run over, that's on you. You're laying IN THE STREET. idiots.

I enjoyed my girlfriend's description of her entrance into the neighborhood. Getting yelled at after she endured the above described scenario. YOU are going to have a hard time in life. What's even MORE sad is that it's quite obvious what kind of kids these are... they're the ones that don't DO anything. No extra curriculars, no jobs... just lazing around with sharpie pens writing cuss words on playground equipment. AWESOME!

I will be going to bed dreaming of the thudthud thudthud my vehicle will make next time I encounter your little gaggle of idiots.

Week 2... aftermath of the Superbowl!

Well, unless you live under a rock you are aware that THE PACKERS won the Superbowl. GO TEAM! Since this is Howie's favorite team in the universe it was a big deal that they were even IN it. We had a couple of friends over, ordered pizza and bought beer. We spent $100. Howie said that we were going to suck it up for the Pack. mmmkay, so that is pretty much what we always do.

I did the weekly grocery shopping today and spent $49. I saved $27 with coupons so I think I did pretty well. I purchased ground turkey instead of my organic 97/3 ground beef b/c the 97/3 turkey was on sale. $3 instead of $6... Got bread, milk, cheese, eggs and some things for the kids. That's it... organic eggs and milk are pricey and my healthy whole wheat bread wasn't on sale. I can't budge on that though, I refuse. I didn't buy any other meat. We have chicken and tuna fish, we'll live.

So, technically I've kept to MY budget. Howie ate out today but used a gift card. He was on the road for 6 hours, these things happen.

I registered Heather for 3 year old preschool and paid their monthly tuition, so that's $487 right there. I paid off our athletic association for our yearly dues (I think that's a total rip off by the way) tball and soccer. This was all figured into the plan for the month... it's just painful LOL.

This is my update on THAT. Not that entertaining I know, but it is possible to feed us for a lot less $$ than I was spending. Next week I'll have to hit Aldi for a couple of spices and find some sales on meats. There's only so much tuna we can eat.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Attempting to bandage the spending...

I read a shared article on Facebook (AKA the debil) about a family in my area that does a spending diet during February. I like it. I have decided that I will do the same thing... but it's the 2nd and I'm already REALLY frustrated. It's probably not for the reasons you're thinking though!

It is not because I can't spend $$, I am frustrated b/c we keep getting little reminders of fees due for the kid's activities... all in February. sigh. On the other hand... perhaps I should be a glass half full girl all month and say "great! The perfect time to spend as little as humanly possible this month. Those expenses may turn into a blessing of awareness and an opportunity to see how frugal we can be!"
That's what I'll go with for the next day or so. I'll update how that goes...

I have decided that we will live out of our pantry and freezers this month. I only decided this on the 31st, so no time to cheat and do any stocking up. My weekly budget will be $50 for things like milk, cheese, bread and basics for my little kid's lunches. I would like to include gas... but I just don't think that's possible. Gas prices are too high, but I absolutely will be consolidating our trips and attempting to only fill up twice this month... at around $100. So, basically I'm trying to spend $300 this month on household expenses. I'm a little nervous about the toilet paper running low... I may have to pop a valium.

These are the issues at hand... normally this would leave me about $700 left over to put in savings after all the regular bills are paid. However... I am discovering some residual spending from January that's going to be carried over into this month. I think that $700 is spoken for.
$173.40 plane ticket for April girls weekend
$ 15.00 girl scout cookies
$164.49 hotel stay for Howie's business trip (should be reimbursed quickly)
$105.00 FVAA dues for Nathan's soccer and tball registration
$150.00 preschool registration fee for Heather (only annoys me b/c I don't know if I'll be going back to work and if she'll even be able to GO next year.
$ 32.31 for my phone cover. Necessary evil.
$ 34.00 groupon deal for Nathan's art classes. Bargain... just bad timing.
$ 8.49 at Wendy's (Howie) while he was on the road.
$ 9.30 pak n ship for an ebay item I sold.

I did bring in $40 for babysitting and $35 for the Ebay item sold. So, we are ONLY starting this month with a deficit of $616.99. I sure am glad I read that article and decided to give it a go. Good lord, if these kids would eat anything like chef boyardee I think this would be easy... but OH NO... I have to buy organic milk and kosher meats. I refuse to skimp on that stuff, even if I have to steal toilet paper and sweetners. Please, invite me to your home so I can steal a roll of TP to make it through this month.

For full disclosure I am also going to admit that Howie and I will be using a gift card we received for Christmas. We have a very rare evening without children this Saturday. I think we will attempt to keep our meal well within the $50 card, I think we'll be able to do this easily. I don't care what we eat, I just want to be able to sit down the entire meal, eat the food at the temperature it was intended to be eaten at and have someone else clean up.

I'm going to see what extra $$ I can bring in as well. Not to be spent... but to TRY to increase the whopping $80 we could slide into savings at the end of this experiment. sheesh. This may be a very very educational and trying month!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I finally made the darn card...

Look, I'm into this whole holiday card thing. I LOVE making them w/my children's photos. We waited until we could go see Santa, hoping to have a Santa picture to place on the card.
Our pictures stink.
However, my dear friend had taken the kids' pictures in the spring and we're using those, so... here it is!

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZsmzNyzcOGLjw

Enjoy!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Shitter's Full Clark... and thus it begins

The holidays are upon us. I love the holidays... and having two December babies makes it all that more special and hectic.
The miraculous colors of fall... reds, oranges and yellows everywhere I look. The crisp air and smell of fireplaces. The Thanksgiving preparations and shopping. The onslaught of crazy from reatives far and wide. AHHHHHHH. The Holidays.

My father and stepmom come here for Thanksgiving. They're great. They engage with the children and play with them. They decorate our home for Christmas. They're low maintenance and easy to get along with. It's a pleasure.
So you must be thinking "where's the crazy? sounds kind of nice to me!"
I've got other family, people. The odds are against me that all of our family members are this normal.

I can't get into all of it at this moment. I'm exhausted and need wine.

Why am I quoting National Lampoon's Christmas all day? Oh yes... b/c this will soon be my life.

"REAL tomato ketchup Eddie?" "Nothin' but the best for you Clark"
Off to the ABC store.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Today is a sad day...

Heather, my almost 3 year old did not need to get her stool to reach the light switch. Just last night she was calling and asking for help to use the bathroom... specifically to turn the light on for her.

On one hand... SOB! My baby is getting bigger every day. Literally... in a day. She's my last baby and we're quickly entering a new phase of childhood and parenthood. I in NO way want any more babies... I just wish she's agreed to BE a baby for a little while longer.

On the other hand... YAY! I don't have to stop what I'm doing to assist in bathroom care. GO ME!

Today is also dear to my heart because my son and I are going to an assisted living facility today to do some crafts with the alzheimers patients. I love that we get the opportunity through a community women's club I belong to, to do this kind of thing. It's important to us that both of our children have an understanding of the world around them and how truly blessed they are. Through our own blessings we have to seek ways to give back and be a part of our community at large.

Darn it, I can't even be a little sarcastic about that.

I am preparing ourselves for the VERY busy holiday and birthday season coming up. I have Thanksgiving to host some family, 2 birthday parties for the kids the following weekend, school trips and events, dance events and a parade all leading to Christmas. I may have to drink heavily to make it through... or put all the drinking aside so I am completely coherent and in control. We'll see... stay tuned!

To my bissell power steamer

Dear Mr. Bissell Power Steamer,

I'm writing this to say THANK YOU. You are a good little carpet cleaner and I appreciate you. When I scream and rant profanities at you it is out of frustration at the dirt, not your pawdry 18 psi of suction power. You did a fine job of pulling that red wine stain out of the hall carpet. I know we'll see Mr. Merlot again, but right now it's great.

That said... I do take issue w/your attitude this afternoon. I know you're jealous of the Rug DR. I would be too! He's a force to be reckoned with! He has 32 psi, larger tank... dual jets and vibrating brush. I get it...
I will admit I DID turn my back on you for a while. I was jaded by the sheer suck capacity of the Dr... and oh my, the upholstery attachment... be still my heart. You can hardly blame me. Our relationship is 6 years old, and I do love you... but WOWZA, the Dr really is something.

You still have a place in our home Mr. Bissell... specifically the garage... but if you start the fake hiccups of protest after I pull you out of your exile again, well, we'll have issues. Your own cousin Mr. Steam Mop rolled his red eye at your shenanigans... HE DID! I needed you today. Do NOT get cocky about it. I've priced the DR out and I can have him for $500. If I get him AND the Scuba and Roomba you'll surely be sitting in the next yardsale for $20. Don't make me feel like holding onto you is for naught.

I have to say, I was very glad you decided to come around today, so thank you for your efforts.